i really should be studying for my mcat now...

but i thought that i really should take some time to reflect back on 2011~

my thesis

i spent a large part of 2011 on my thesis. there was a deadline, after all. i had to finish it by 3rd august, that is, the end of my scholarship. if i have yet to submit my thesis by then,  i'll have to pay one semester of school fees just so that i could continue working on my thesis. being the money minded me, i told myself that i die die also must submit my thesis by august. of which luckily i did. 

the examiners took around 2-3 months to get back and my thesis only required minor amendments. i was really fortunate because most of my friends required major amendments. but, like i told them, it really must be because my examiners were much more lenient than theirs, and not because my thesis was well written. after the final submission, i was finally conferred my master degree on the last day of november (: 终于苦尽甘来了。(:

there really are a lot of people that i have to thank for making my masters journey less difficult to complete. 

first and foremost is of course my supervisor dr ryan hong. he really was a very big help throughout my 2 years masters candidature. he is very patient and i know there were some times when i might have failed to meet his expectations but he had never lost his temper or became impatient. he was also always there if i had any questions, of which i am really grateful for because i know of many friends whose supervisors were either mia or just could not be bothered with their supervisees!

i am also very grateful for my masters friends, of which i am closest to suqi and minyee (: i am really glad to have found them and it made my master journey a not so lonely one (: and of course there are also others like shimin, weiping, kaiqin, zhaoxiu all of whom are very nice people (: it's always nice to gather together and gossip and complain :P 

there are also the psychology department staff, of whom are all very nice as well (: i was TA under susheel and i must say that she is really very nice. i was truly fortunate to be able to work under her for PL1101E. and there are also the office staff, of whom i must give special thanks to poh yee and mr paul leong (when he was still with the department), as they helped me tremendously with the booking of the computer labs. booking only marhs, you must be thinking. it's really not that easy and to have to carry out the study for so many participants, even small little details like settling the computer labs can be a big headache. > <  luckily there were really nice admin staff to help us (:

may/june 

most of may and june was spent at the nuh observation programme. i was really lucky to be chosen for the programme because i heard from reshmi that there were quite a lot of people who signed up for it and they had to reject some people due to limited resources. i got to know a bunch of psychology students, and we are known as the poppies. they are a really cute bunch and i'm glad we still whatsapp once in while to catch up ~ (:

it may be quite unbelievable but this short programme which lasted not more than 2 months made me change my mind regarding my dream job. as you may know, i've always wanted to be a clinical psychologist. however, during the programme, i came into contact with some really nice psychiatrists, of whom dr terence leong left the deepest impression in me. 

dr terence is very nice towards all his patients and you can see the genuine concern he has for them. he shakes all his patients' hand when they come into the clinic. but what impressed me most is that he is not like some doctors (no names~ -_-) who think that, just because they have a medical degree, they are the highest ranked in the hospital and thus view the others as below them. dr terence treats all his co-workers with respect. he is also a very good teacher - always allowing us to ask him questions and also even if we had no questions he will pop some questions for us to think through about the cases. i really learnt a lot from him (:

no, do not be mistaken. all the psychologists at nuh are very nice people! (: i really loved all of them so much.

but being through the programme i realised that the divide between the psychologists and the psychiatrists is too ridiculous. let me give you an example. even a mere medical officer thinks so highly of herself that she doesn't even show the psychologists respect at all (medical officer is the lowest rank of the doctors, after you pass your housemanship). just because you have a medical degree doesn't mean that you can treat other people like they are just your slave and you call upon them only when there are cases you don't want to handle. that's not the way. 

it's true that they are not certified to prescribe medicine but that's about it. they are definitely as qualified to give a diagnosis (though not allowed to in many hospitals in singapore - only doctors can give the diagnosis -_-), and to come up with a treatment plan using psychotherapy, which have time and again been proven in controlled studies to be more effective than only taking medicine. yes it's true that you can try and understand psychotherapy by going for "courses" but these are certified psychologists we are talking about. they had gone through hours and hours of practicuum and there is no way the "courses" you attend will ever allow you to be able to reach the standard of a certified psychologist in terms of psychotherapy. the best treatment plan for the patient is, no doubt, the combination of medicine and psychotherapy, and this had too been proven by controlled studies. 

so why the hell do you think you are better than the psychologists when all you do is see the patient for 10 mins ask them how they are how's your sleep how's your appetite etc ok i'll give you this medicine today make sure you take them come back again on xxx date bye bye.

ok, again, NOT all psychiatrists treat their patients this way but i can ensure you that those who are do not make up a small percentage. and the number of psychiatrists who think that they are "more superior" than psychologists is even way larger. don't understand why? me neither. it's probably an in-group versus out-group mentality. and they must feel threatened because psychologists are only recently on the rise in singapore and "invading" a field that previously only belonged to the psychiatrists. 

anyways, to cut the long story short, i have decided that somebody has got to stand out and make a change, and if i wanted to be able to help push for the rights of the psychologists, then i cannot just be a psychologist. it will not be enough, because i'll just be speaking for my own people and probably no one will listen. if i wanted to make a difference, i had to be a doctor. that is the only way. 

i know you must be thinking i'm mad~ what makes me think i'll be able to make a difference. and like what teo said, even if i were able to, it's not just going to be achievable in the recent future. it'll probably take many years. 

but yay~ i've since set my heart and mind on getting a medical degree and thus have applied to duke-nus. my mcat is on 28th january! oh god there's so much to study for and i feel like i'm dying. wish me luck! (:

august

when i first heard that fred papa wanted to run for the tiong bahru yec head, he didn't approach me directly actually. but i was already tempted to join because kit, tiong and meitoon were joining too! i would really love to have an opportunity to work with all of them again (: i remember subsequently it was tiong who asked me whether i would like to join them (: 

actually at that time i was quite hesistant~ and i got to find out that fred papa didn't ask me to run also because he feared that didi might not be for it. and it's true that silly didi was not, because he is really worried about whether i'll have enough time to do so many things! especially since i've set my goals on getting a medical degree. it's definitely not going to be easy. 

but i'll always keep what didi said in mind - that time is a limited resource and whatever we choose to spend our time on, we'll just have less time for other things. i really have to thank didi for giving me advice on time management. i've promised didi that i'll learn to manage my time better and most importantly, no matter what, i'll always have time for my didi (:

i subsequently also asked nii-chan and junming to join the yec together (: i am truly grateful that after all these years since e4, our group 7 family is still going strong (: we spent the last day of 2011 together and we are looking forward to another wonderful year together (: i really love all of them so much because although we haven't known each other for very long, and although we may not always have time to catch up with each other, but our ties and our chemistry do not fade. i know that they are people that i can depend on if i ever need them (: 

 

october/november

i managed to meet up quite a number of times with my squadmates and i realised that they are the group of people that i've known for the longest that i am still close to now! (: i am really glad our friendship is still going strong (: it's been almost 13 years! 

yuwen invited us to her wedding and it's the first squadmates' wedding that we attended (: we are really happy for her and because she's the first we made a scrapbook for her! i don't think that the rest will get such a good treatment next time :P it wasn't easy to coordinate the making of the scrapbook!

december

december was xinyi's wedding! (: it was really fun preparing everything together with the jiemeis - mayi, han, peishan and yingxiu (xinyi's uni friend). this is another group of people that i am especially thankful for. i was actually only classmates with them for 1 year (secondary 2), but our friendship has lasted until now! (: like what mayi said, some things are just meant to be (: like we aren't even close to other people whom we had been classmates for a few years~ it's a really special friendship to me and i am really grateful that i am part of this clique (: 

december was our 03s23 chalet also. i really don't even know such a spooky chalet actually exist >< i just hope that all of them had fun! this year will be our 9th year already! haha~ doing all the math really makes me feel very old, but at the same time i am really glad that i have all these great friends who stayed through the years with me (: someone (no names!) is always complaining about nj, but to me nj memories are precious because of 03s23! (: most of us will agree that the class you are with will make/break your jc life, because mostly your jc life comprise of moving from class to class with them. i am really happy that i had such a wonderful class  (: 

and also not forgetting terra house reps and oac! haha ~ my cca brough another dimension into my jc life. and most memorable for me is how terra 6th started out separated into 2 cliques, but then became united as 1 at the end of the term and still keeping in contact now (: and i am so proud that terra was 1st that year (: i will always remember what ranjay said to me that day when we took the trophy: "i've never been so proud to be in terra before!" (:

4w clique

i finally got to see pig again! (: all of us really missed her a lot! on the day that we met after so many years, she broke the news that she was going to usa to study for her phd. it was really quite sudden a news for me and she said that she won't be coming back in these 6 years, even during cny, because the tickets are expensive (and that's understandable). i'm really missing her now but i am really glad that she is able to persue her dreams (: all the best pig! (: 

it is quite perculiar but as pig returns from her recluse, huey decided to become uncontactable. ): or maybe just to me because apparently pig and cher still managed to talk to her previously. but no matter whether i email facebook gchat her, she doesn't reply. i really don't like to be in a relationship of which i put in so much but i don't feel like the other person care at all? at least for pig i know she still cares about me just like i care about her, even though i did not get to see her very often at all. and pig did reply when i occasionally dropped her a sms or an email. 

for huey, even though she replied to many other things and she still posted to google buzz, she did not so much as bothered to reply a single email i sent her? i really don't understand that and i seriously do feel sad about it ): but it's fine i guess... cher said it's cos she's just busy with her work and she will be less busy come jan / feb 2012. i shall hope so. (: i do miss her~ ):

but i'm quite glad to have cher all to myself all this while haha (: i know right, so selfish haha~ but really got closer to her i feel (: i really love listening to all her stories about her students (: and she never fail to amaze me with her knowledge of branded bags and makeup stuff (: there's always so many things to learn from her (: and she always makes me laugh (:

it's funny cos i think our personality don't actually match up? i think it applies to the whole clique? jia is melancholic, cher is sarcastic, huey is critical and i'm just plain brainless and crazy (all the above not intended as negative). haha(: but i'm really glad we are making an effort to still meet up and catch up (: i guess that's what matters right (:

thirdseptember / the gypsydoll

previously when pervert decided to pull out of thirdseptember our friendship was strained, but i am glad that we have since made up and are still friends now (:

mer and i had been planning to start anew but things had not been going so well. we were not able to leave on a business trip overseas. despite all the shit that we are faced with, i really hope that we can persevere because i believe that we will be able to do well as we have what it takes to differentiate us from the rest (:

and i would really like to thank mer for being willing to stick through all these with me. i am still very interested in a blogshop business but alone i will definitely not be able to handle. thus i am really glad to have her with me (: 

and anna is still in japan! it hasn't been an easy year for her. i just wish that 2012 will be a better year for her in all aspects of her life and that most importantly she will be happy (:

of course i'm saving the 2 most important person to the last ~ 

my bestest bff 

we always reminiscence about our sec 2 time together and about how i used to not like her so much but eventually grew close together because of terra (: there's really nothing i can say about how lucky i am to know her. i think time and again i've given her a lot of trouble by asking her to do this and that with me but she's always there for me (: and she's always bubbly and cheery and there's just never a dull moment with her (: and i love all the crazy things we do together - 2 person k-ing, watching out for shuai ges, looking up make up, talking about everything and anything etc~ thank you so much for being my bff merlion~ (: you are truly the merlion in my eye! (: 

my silly didi

it's been 6 years already (: and counting (: 

i've always believed that i am able to meet him in this lifetime because in my previous lifetime i must have done a lot of good deeds and that's why i was blessed with the fortune to get together with him. so i am determined to accumulate a lot of good karma this lifetime so that i can meet with him again next lifetime (: 

if not for my didi, frankly, i really don't know how i would have survived the last 2 years. i guess mentally i was just not strong enough to convince myself that completing it will be able to allow me to fulfill my (then) dream. thank you so much silly for always being there for me, for always giving me good advice, for bearing with my tantrums when i am stressed and for always caring about me. (: 

and thank you also for giving me your full support when i told you that i want to apply for duke-nus. (: thank you for letting me chase my dreams with no worries, knowing that you'll always be there for me (:

i know you always say there's no need for thank yous but i really just want to tell you that i am really really grateful that i have you (: (: 

2012 

for me, the first and foremost wish i have is that i hope to be accepted into duke-nus. but if not i'll just work in the meantime and i'll apply again (: if i am accepted i'll start off by reading up first because i feel that as compared to the bioscience and pharmacy students i am wayyyyyyy lagging behind so i'll have to work harder. if i am not and i did not do well for my mcat i'll revise harder and retake my mcat (hopefully there's no need for this omg!)

of course there's the weight losing resolution ~ i've decided that 1kg per month sounds like a okay goal so i'll work hard towards that! (: 

and most importantly i hope to keep my temper in check and i aim to learn to be more grateful and give thanks to little things that come my way (: by doing so, i hope i will be able to love my friends, love my family and love my didi more in the coming year (:

all the best for 2012 my dear friends and my silly didi!(: